initially want to write in chinese, changed my mind.
the concert end in a way that feeling relieved and satisfied, in a way if you could overlook minor mistakes. i couldn't complaint more as i was only put in full gear at very late stage due to the concert ot was going to organize in mid march.
initially i have mixed feelings towards my alma mater, perhaps i was too attached to my former school, alot happened both before and after i left my school mostly negative things involving lack of appreciations from ppl i know, and some ppl who approach me with agendas. sometimes i thought it's a good idea to write it down as book, but maybe everyone's schooling life is more adventurous than mine, i'll keep that to myself.
this is the 6th time i heavily involved in a chinese orchestra concert. i held numerous post before, from video maker to crew to conductor to flute player, but mainly as "quarter master" as i do lot's of stuffs ranging from contacting sponsors, practice, song arrangements and so on. this time, beside the usual stuff where i need to "persuade" a few ppl, music wise i only worte a song for the concert and it's quite a challenge as i take on yasunori mitsuda's master piece--"time's scar". yes i feel stressed as some of my friends said they purposely come to this concert to just listen to this song which i'm very worried due to this is the first time i conduct a small group ensemble: easier to manage but the stage and technical problems didn't give damn help. i was surprise that some friends told me that they missed the ukm concert last time and hope to attend this one as a support to me, i was so touched, yet i'm also quite stress with the outcome of the song. luckily it went well (sort of, if you consider dissapearing bass as nth...), although i was hoping for larger audience.
i have to stress again that making cultural/art stuff more appealing towards the youth not neccessarily dump down the whole thing. the way ppl appreciate culture and arts changes. the challenge is to mix what you learn and in some way maintain the essence. this is why my arrangements always mixing chinese orchestra (CO) and anime/video game/pop music because the public still view chinese orchestra as cheesy CNY songs, while the music of anime/video game can easily beat those songs you heard everyday on radio but heavily overlooked! i'm trying to make an impression that CO can be cool and let's appreciate the great music that has been neglected by the main stream. you can say i'm inspired by Eminence Orchestra and yes i am.
i feel depressed as i think i will not able to finish my dream as i heard there will be a CO concert somewhere next year featuring all anime (perhaps video game music as well) arranged for CO. well, perhaps i will not remembered as the pushing force on the things i do as THEY always a step ahead of me. maybe it is fate that i may not talented enough to achieve my dream - a concert with newly arranged video game music for CO. when a time that ppl you can trust all busy with things more important in their life, your dreams will remain dreams as no one can be successful without others to support you. at this time in my life, it's getting less friends that will chase dreams together, it's painful but i'm still proud of what i did, although no significant effects.
i am very proud of the committees of the concert, they cope with all the shortcomings throwing at them without too many fuss. however i'm quite concern with the future development of the band if ALL parties does not look into problems already mounted seriously, especially those who hold supervising power! i hope this will not be the last time i step into Yu Hua CO's concert. perhaps i'm one of the doom merchant who are pessimistic, but i do feel my advice was usually not heeded by those who in charge. maybe i'm not core member? maybe they confident they will solve the problems? hopefully they have set sight on planning and have the determination for at least future 3-5 years, which i highly doubtful. anyhow the students was not to blamed, in fact they are more mature than i think. some of my grudges from previous involevement vanished, which is a good sign as i will not dwell on the past too much and dully focus on the task i have, hope i didn't cause any trouble to them.
so, the concert is dusted, time for some post mortem, sadly i cant attend it but hopefully will be a meaningful one. i did my part, although not perfect, but at least i tried my best. it's nice to see some teacher show their caring side, and i made a few friends while appreciating old friendships. i have to thank you some members of KDS who show up that day, Otians where keep promoting and travelling from far away (with the funny parking story as well), some supporting friends and of course my parents including my girl friend!!
special mention:
the "pappa-rich trio" who showed back-to-back support to concerts which i involved.
wei shean, guo hong (thanks for your full support to me for past 2 years, may your taiwan trip well, see you soon! the eroice internet symphony (my version) will always have a place for you if you are joining!), mei dee which are a revelation this year.
tommy who i have faith as always.
koi ming which gave some insightful comments.
shin yi, jiax chia, drumboy where represent the core of the concert.
full performers of "time's scar" tirelessly practice the unfamilar techniques.
the yu hua kids who make troubles but manage to be serious at last moment.
teachers who again showed commitment and ideas.
those caring parents who shared with me a lot of stories.
and some close friends and personal i wish to thank personally and some others i no do wish to reveal here!
my CO dreams hang in balance, perhaps it's time for me to brush up my skills again. have faith, although getting weaker.
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