愁前山2

Dragon Age 2012 world economy: an opinion (1)

2012-01-31T11:58:00.001+08:00

the last "dragon year" is 2000, where only happens once in a few thousand years where western millennium meets the dragon from the east. that was also the year where kick start the "chinalize capitalism" which dominates the current world economy. further north, the Russian polar bear also wake up from the slums of capitalize-communism and becomes a strong energy player.

another cycle of dragon age where now china still the powerhouse of world economy and the lazy euro-american still have no clue to solve their economic shit they stirred, and the reluctant to downgrade the luxury lifestyle they have lived for more than a century also quite contributed to the problems. the neo-roman-empire (sorry to say for me the EU+US seems reenact of the roman empire that wants to unite the whole western countries) may have no money and on the brink of bankruptcy, yet their pride is more important then the well fed of their people. for an "identity" euro-americans that live their live as pirates, traders, invaders and murderers for a few thousand years, they make their their fortunes and stockpile their gold by opening new markets, colonize new places and discovering new lands. when the world is out of lands to be discovered, no more places to be conquered, they are out of sort to fix their economy (oouch!).

“龙的传人”

2012-01-22T20:40:00.001+08:00

龙年前夜说个龙故事：

有一天一条西方的龙魔复活了，并把多年以前死光的的龙kelefe们复活了，要把人世间所有的人类杀死。因为多年的和平，人们早已把龙当成传说，并不知所措。哪里知道就如阴阳道理还有牛顿理论一样有一个死囚（人家叫他“龙的传人”；英文叫dragonborn，你们可以尝试翻译一下）有一种特异功能，能够用呐喊声把龙杀死（差不多意思啦，不同的呐喊还可以放慢时间、把别人结冰、叫动物帮手……），并吸收人和被杀死的kelefe龙的灵魂。可是当他修行到差不多的时候才发现到他的呐喊声并不能在这一个空间杀死龙魔，因为该龙魔在这一个空间出现是因为他的“前人”在很无奈的情况下（也是喊不死那条龙），利用“时空转移呐喊”才把龙魔丢到几千年后的现在。在一切都看似绝望的时候，龙的传人也使用了“时空转移呐喊”，结果和龙魔一同去到死后的世界。在那里他和他的前人们一同用尽吃奶的力一起把龙魔喊死……龙的传人最终也回到了人间，一场几千年的浩劫也解决了……

这一个看似有点无厘头的又集合了道家的阴阳论、周星驰的月光宝盒、咒语云云的故事就是百万销售游戏the elder's scroll 5:skyrim的主干故事。有时候我们会觉得那些华人道士开坛念符咒是很古老和迷信的东西；其实游戏中那个所谓的呐喊-shout跟念咒语有什么分别？但是经过鬼佬们商业化的“改良后”很多玩过skyrim的人都会觉得当dragonborn很酷，黄袍道士很不。这也是西洋人厉害的地方，能够结合众多元素加以包装商业化幽了传统神话默一下并恰到好处，人人开心把钱送入口袋。我们华人，还没有这一份能够幽默一下传统到人人都能接受的能力和勇气，华社也不见得能够接受。

新年快乐！附上一些该游戏“经典”的画面：

恶搞动画：http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsqiSknjHK8

Trailer：http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjqsYzBrP-M

《300》恶搞：http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=xqaV6HFpXOs

呐喊/咒语集：http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuq-QgENIUI

2011

2012-01-22T20:39:00.003+08:00

jan

this is the time where CNY is closing in, worried about own concert; attended USM's concert, learned something new and shared some ideas regarding chinese orchestra. suspect my old facebook account been hacked, opened a new one, some old friends refuse to accept my invitation.

feb

invited by UM to give a speech on a conference. a heated session where i took a lot of bullets and also showed my humour side when confronting hostile ppl. still much focus on our concert where i put a lot of efforts.

march

this is the CONCERT month. it went well (sort of), have flaws but still within acceptable errors. a lot of efforts not lost and redeemed some of my pride after the 2009 incident. finally able to showcase musics i love so much in a presentation where awed my friends. thank you all the otians and friends who keep giving supports.

april

a time to say good bye to another badge of friends as they leaving at the end of this semester. my family welcomes a new baby boy. this is another concert month where i need to help my secondary school organize one after the UKM's. the process of application bites and very rush. i like the pressure because it's doing what i like, but tiring. this is also one of the busiest period in 2011 where i need to produce 2 academic articles in this month to comply some irrational rules.

may

a lonely birthday. very much focus on concert as well. hardly have a good sleep. went to a few concerts to get inspirations, very shocked as i offered to sit vip seats in one of the concert!! again learned something new.

june

this is the CONCERT 2.0. my song went ok excluding the arrogant technical support who nearly ruined my prelude video during i conducting my song. unhappy to some of the youngsters' attitude and lack of cooperations. still relief that at least the show is ok and feedback is mostly good. yu hua co showed a lot of potential. in another activity i felt marginalised, perhaps it's time for me to leave the society after loyaly serve them for 6 years. my best friend's wedding and have to go johor in back-2-back weekends.

july

this is a slow month where no activities and universities is having holidays. this is the period where i in need of rest after full throttle in making concerts while doing my thesis.

august

busy, but mostly having holidays and trips. klcc whole day trip is leg killing. hari raya holiday tried to go kuala selangor, end up seeing plenty of cars and people. but this month i also entered emergency ward for the first time due to back injury. have problem moving around for 3 weeks.

september

school reopened. convocation, a last chance to meet ppl you cherish. for some ppl you'll never see them again after that day. rush my thesis presentation b4 the australia trip, still making application to write thesis in english. for the first time ever i attended my current faculty's prom night and for the first time i felt there's privilage as a senior, thank you all my juniors over there. as for my formet faculty, happy that my course have a queen! "non-main-stream" holiday trip to melbourne and areas around. i have a lot of thoughts, very happy and refreshing + 3000+ photos taken.

october

nth much happens really, just attended a mind blowing motivation course and have new thoughts on life. hope that from now on i can harness my talent better.

november

busy, for the first time ever otukm has become part of the credited co-curriculum subject. i can say the implementation of the policy is in a mess. supervisor or not, i will not give up on ot (at least for now). more hard work to be done. this month is about practice x 1000 times... another best friend's wedding, happy for her!

december

first evaluation of otukm i say we did well in beginner's level. the head of cultural department shared some view and thought with me. happy that we can put up a good line-up and accepatable performance. this is also a month where 0.5 of it is in sickness and have to eneter emergency ward to burn money again because i have breathing problem after serious coughs. all my thesis work were dragged. a lonely new year's eve where i ly on bed having meds.

世人说，我也说！

2011-09-13T05:42:00.000+08:00

今天在网上看到的，虽有辛酸但有些东西很具争议性，希望大家可以理性的分析一下。

韩国人说:马来西亚宽频5M RM149 ,韩国用免费wifi速度都快过你们。

（我们的宽频还要使用星加坡和泰国的gateway，韩国人拥有海底的电缆直接拉到他们的国家，如果不快的话他们可以去死吧！）

中国人说:4川地震过后重新建工程速度2年完成95%.还好你们国家没有天灾不然你们又要用50年来建国了。

（两年内工程完成95%，是不是豆腐渣工程两年后或另一个天灾自能揭晓……）

美国人说:我国军事势力纵横全球，空军全球第一。笑着说你们买一架普通又不是核能潜艇来马六甲海峡抓偷渡客还是小海盗?空军基地的战斗机居然没有引擎。

（纵横全球，也export战争到世界各地，越战、阿富汗、科索沃、海湾战争2.0、利比亚；索马里+马六甲海峡海盗问题又不见他们出手。）

英国人说:我国王子婚礼做到如此轰动全球，可能你们连自己国家的元首是谁都不知!

（在英国财政几乎接近破产的时候极度浪费纳税人的钱仅仅因为要维持一些中古世纪的残留物的派头，如此的轰动简直就是不食人间疾苦！）

墨西哥人说:我国警察打击毒贩不手软，你们国家反贪局丢人下楼也不手软。

（打击毒贩不手软吗？如果当地的警队不腐败，毒贩何来猖狂？）

泰国人说:我国有全球知名法医。你们国家居然说在你们国家不承认全球知名法医的大学。

（这个我就非常赞同了！）

世人说:天下最不可思议的事情,传Email居然要收RM0.50。

（世界上是没有免费的东西的，谁说email不需要成本？只是他们太诚实，也太没有经济头脑的想办法抵消成本。）

日本说:我国有尊贵的王室成员。你们国家的苏丹还不是被几个国家统治过的后裔如今还有脸称呼自己是苏丹。

（opps，他们就是统治过这些苏丹的侵略者。当年第二次世界大战制造出太平洋战争，让华人生不如死的南京大屠杀，当盟军欧洲战线告捷后让美军在东线深陷泥沼还不是你们，不曾为二战的屠杀道歉却一再流行文化中把自己弄成受害者，有何尊贵？）

新加坡人说:我国都是进口人才，谢谢你们出口人才来我国。

（或许我国的政府可以说，巴西的足球明星还不是在海外踢球？）

现在最新的评语：

孟加拉人说：谢谢你提供不错的工作，我们的待遇竟然跟土族差不多……因为政府“漂白”了我们，让我们成为大马公民！

（或许我国的政府也可以说，没有证据不要乱乱讲！）

a step closer (post 18/3 memory, repost)

2011-06-17T02:21:00.000+08:00

is this a step closer to my vision? yes. is this the ambitious dream i tried to achieve over the years? quite so.

since 2006, i am trying to rally more and more friends into the family of chinese orchestra. i am too trying to change the way local people perceive chinese orchestra are. although there was and will be obstacles mainly man made ones but i do hope i can stand firm enough to push the line forward. at least i showed loyalty to my beloved music and of course, the club that makes me a part of the family: Orkestra Tradisional UKM Artisukma a.k.a. OT.

"Music Feast" is the 3rd OT's concert where i heavily involved, although i have a smaller role than 2 years ago (making 4 arrangements and conducting 5 songs O.o), i'm still making arrangements for 2 songs and keep improving my flawed conducting skills for 3 songs.

over the past 2 years has been turbulent for pursuing my music dream, yet, 2 years later i could not thank enough people that keep supporting fullest to me which i'm really appreciated. there's too much moments to cherish and too many people to thank of where i'll highlight all of them if possible.

the Otians:

for the making of "music feast", the OT's member fight on tremendously which surprise me a lot where i do have very low expectations toward undergraduates recently. they showed character and intelligent in managing the event albeit some errors and mistakes which are forgivable and negligible. i must say again whereby there was no one could believe the event was pull out by just perhaps "finger-countable" amount of people and also no one look up to us as well. as the promoter of cultural and arts awareness in our universities, moving forward is the only way and i'm proud of you all, OT is the best!

we have the silent chief-jack, we have special agent-yew cheng, we have dedicating vice yiling, we have speaker cum cordinator-yong siang, we have blur but workaholic khai yee, we have ss double team yin lok and ling huay, we have super cook-yenfong, we have passable protocol chun fong, we have silent film maker tony and junie, we have efficient secretary-florence and ming ying, the error prone program group but finally tie up all loose knots, and we have special supporting staffs like ryuk, kuan loong, jia yi, wan yee, chia soon, wanjing, ying ling, etc....some ukm talent like hooiteng and danicia, thank you for supporting ot as well. finally the principle yew ping that did the right things at a very late stage. (hope i didnt missed anyone?)

steven and wan ting, although just a small song but it makes me very nervous about the song as well, perhaps this paved the road for greater things to happens together? sam, chee yow and jg also, wow your sacriface very gan dong lo!! surlyn, xiao bai, ching shuang mei ee, wei jie, (and also heng ying??) really makes me missed the old days, we missed your dynamics so so much!

the yu huarians:

that was the n times we collaborate and it end up a blast in that concert. really appreciate the hard work and coordination of ying jie, xin yi, jin fa, chia huey, wen yi, jing lun, and those small kids. although people comes and goes, but our bond stays eternal! hope that we can settle the near future problem ok?

special thanks:

li ming, and wei shean, you make me believe that publicity in internet do have use! really thank you for so committed in our practice and improving the skills of our players. really dont know how to thank you really.

gao xun, yi chong and ah wan, you guys are very noisy but wow, you guys brought so fresh air and ideas to our course and really giving a spark in the way, thank you very much!

jing hong, quite surprise you came, really, hope you enjoy the practice with them, hahaha.

simon, matthew, yen sheng, rayne, hao ran, billy thank you for coming with the very busy schedule.

my dear friends:

the kds that surprise me with the attendance and also surprise me with the shout!! chia wei that always show up, ctin and joanna that surprise me again with their driving skills, hui qin and cute jasmine lai which really appreciate your attendance, delwyn and yuen teng combination that i thank you for coming. also puikuan that as the core member of upm CO! talk about UPMCO and IMU really gave me heart attack as they support us with an armada of friends lining up when the rain is pouring. special thanks for former coordinator ryan, a bunch of lovely seniors, patrick tan, wei sern tht share the same vision but i not sure coming, all the photographers that happily lend a helping hand when we needed!

special reserved thanks:

to my parent that never missed any of my performance and patiently give me full support and also taking good pictures. my girl friend that bring more than 20 people at very very late stage, hope i don't disappoint you as you keep pressurize me to give good performance! miss Wendy that always support me in every detail, really appreciated!

as a conclusion, geeting a lot of surprise!! thanks.

post 4/6 (a musical assembly)

2011-06-17T02:19:00.000+08:00

initially want to write in chinese, changed my mind.

the concert end in a way that feeling relieved and satisfied, in a way if you could overlook minor mistakes. i couldn't complaint more as i was only put in full gear at very late stage due to the concert ot was going to organize in mid march.

initially i have mixed feelings towards my alma mater, perhaps i was too attached to my former school, alot happened both before and after i left my school mostly negative things involving lack of appreciations from ppl i know, and some ppl who approach me with agendas. sometimes i thought it's a good idea to write it down as book, but maybe everyone's schooling life is more adventurous than mine, i'll keep that to myself.

this is the 6th time i heavily involved in a chinese orchestra concert. i held numerous post before, from video maker to crew to conductor to flute player, but mainly as "quarter master" as i do lot's of stuffs ranging from contacting sponsors, practice, song arrangements and so on. this time, beside the usual stuff where i need to "persuade" a few ppl, music wise i only worte a song for the concert and it's quite a challenge as i take on yasunori mitsuda's master piece--"time's scar". yes i feel stressed as some of my friends said they purposely come to this concert to just listen to this song which i'm very worried due to this is the first time i conduct a small group ensemble: easier to manage but the stage and technical problems didn't give damn help. i was surprise that some friends told me that they missed the ukm concert last time and hope to attend this one as a support to me, i was so touched, yet i'm also quite stress with the outcome of the song. luckily it went well (sort of, if you consider dissapearing bass as nth...), although i was hoping for larger audience.

i have to stress again that making cultural/art stuff more appealing towards the youth not neccessarily dump down the whole thing. the way ppl appreciate culture and arts changes. the challenge is to mix what you learn and in some way maintain the essence. this is why my arrangements always mixing chinese orchestra (CO) and anime/video game/pop music because the public still view chinese orchestra as cheesy CNY songs, while the music of anime/video game can easily beat those songs you heard everyday on radio but heavily overlooked! i'm trying to make an impression that CO can be cool and let's appreciate the great music that has been neglected by the main stream. you can say i'm inspired by Eminence Orchestra and yes i am.

i feel depressed as i think i will not able to finish my dream as i heard there will be a CO concert somewhere next year featuring all anime (perhaps video game music as well) arranged for CO. well, perhaps i will not remembered as the pushing force on the things i do as THEY always a step ahead of me. maybe it is fate that i may not talented enough to achieve my dream - a concert with newly arranged video game music for CO. when a time that ppl you can trust all busy with things more important in their life, your dreams will remain dreams as no one can be successful without others to support you. at this time in my life, it's getting less friends that will chase dreams together, it's painful but i'm still proud of what i did, although no significant effects.

i am very proud of the committees of the concert, they cope with all the shortcomings throwing at them without too many fuss. however i'm quite concern with the future development of the band if ALL parties does not look into problems already mounted seriously, especially those who hold supervising power! i hope this will not be the last time i step into Yu Hua CO's concert. perhaps i'm one of the doom merchant who are pessimistic, but i do feel my advice was usually not heeded by those who in charge. maybe i'm not core member? maybe they confident they will solve the problems? hopefully they have set sight on planning and have the determination for at least future 3-5 years, which i highly doubtful. anyhow the students was not to blamed, in fact they are more mature than i think. some of my grudges from previous involevement vanished, which is a good sign as i will not dwell on the past too much and dully focus on the task i have, hope i didn't cause any trouble to them.

so, the concert is dusted, time for some post mortem, sadly i cant attend it but hopefully will be a meaningful one. i did my part, although not perfect, but at least i tried my best. it's nice to see some teacher show their caring side, and i made a few friends while appreciating old friendships. i have to thank you some members of KDS who show up that day, Otians where keep promoting and travelling from far away (with the funny parking story as well), some supporting friends and of course my parents including my girl friend!!

special mention:

the "pappa-rich trio" who showed back-to-back support to concerts which i involved.

wei shean, guo hong (thanks for your full support to me for past 2 years, may your taiwan trip well, see you soon! the eroice internet symphony (my version) will always have a place for you if you are joining!), mei dee which are a revelation this year.

tommy who i have faith as always.

koi ming which gave some insightful comments.

shin yi, jiax chia, drumboy where represent the core of the concert.

full performers of "time's scar" tirelessly practice the unfamilar techniques.

the yu hua kids who make troubles but manage to be serious at last moment.

teachers who again showed commitment and ideas.

those caring parents who shared with me a lot of stories.

and some close friends and personal i wish to thank personally and some others i no do wish to reveal here!

my CO dreams hang in balance, perhaps it's time for me to brush up my skills again. have faith, although getting weaker.

an uninspiring 2010 yet hope remains..(1)

2010-12-30T14:30:00.000+08:00

ok, this is a review for my year 2010. it'll be very long. i dont expect ppl will read it as i do think no one care a damn about what you post unless they are some government agencies trying to monitor everything, anything so that when you f up, you go to jail.

january:

by this period i was still wondering how my phd journey going to start, yet after receiving a warm call from my DEAR prof, i've sign up for the team and do something which i once quite interested but never touched it: biotechnology. specifically GM food actually. my part is to do a survey that capture the public's consumer preference towards it. so i registered up and officially becomes a phd student. but no one respect me also. in most mediocre civilian's eyes we are just a bunch of softies that do not have any working experience. i just want to say if the world do not have academicians like us systematically categorizing knowledge for all, you all can still live in pre historic world hunting and growing food. try to respect knowledge everyone, without knowledge you are just savage ppl.

february:

a new experience for me during the new year period as i visited new places that i normally dont during NY. quite fun but the sun is really less forgiving. i started to not understand why foreigners LOVE or sunny day so much!!!

march:

this is the first time i hear wong tze wah's stand up comedy live at genting. indeed masterclass. i'm still wondering what's the different between stand up comedy and crosstalk? as i find it quite similiar. jokes are meant to give insightful thoughts after you laugh, and i say tze wah did it in style. wish i am capable to do that, but yet again no ppl listen to what i say apart from my gf and family member.

this is also the first time i made song arrangement for pop song from scratch. i'm grateful that i have a team that fully supports me. details were mentioned in 5 years...just i not very statisfy with my work and some technical issues bothering me as well.

i went to ipoh and stay there overnight for the 1st time, it's a wedding dinner and i was quite happy knowing something i dont know. as usual i've become the photographer for FREE!

at last, my brata since schooling days R-Ken is graduated!!!!

april:

another busy month as i went to crab isle to snap photos...i did profiling photo collage for my Otians, and also another brata is getting married, and i become the half photographer. good experience for me though, 3rd time as wedding photographer.

may:

wow, this month....proudly say my dearest 2nd sister is finally get married!!!! very happy for them both, combination of smart cute funny couple! the first time my house was swarmed by 100+ ppl in a single day...i hardly able to take pictures as well. but anyhow my slide show gone unnoticed during the dinner which is quite sad really because i put a lot of efforts to do that. the MC forget to mention it...sigh..

this month i was busy doing my research presentation as well...luckily went through without a fuzz!

the video

june:

i took a week's leave to go taiwan again after 5 years, alot has been changed, the food the taste has gone heavier! however i enjoy a lot and finally saw real panda in close distance.

my thoughts for the first half of 2010? well was dissapointed that OT cancelled the concert initially and still hurt by the aftermath of last year's unfortunate turnout of another concert. i'm quite occupied really, but all i did is just small matters. the first half was also fully of empty promises that suddenly wake up end of june. some oversea ppl promise me will let me arrange songs for them, and the other guys promised me that i could on air at some show. suddenly show was cancelled and the promise of song writing remains empty. so i've wake up and i need to drastically change my 2nd half of 2010.

八打灵街

2010-11-15T02:47:00.001+08:00

ok，在一个风和日丽的早晨，雷蒙彭帅哥说九点集合的活动因为和老爸沟通不良结果7点左右就抵达了八打灵街。顶着前一天没什么好睡觉的精神开始物色那一个区域有趣的东西来拍。

结果拍拍下……先是被一个小贩恐吓报警，又说什么出卖华人啦，等下警察来让他没有生意做啦（只因忘记礼貌的问问可不可以拍他的照片），然后又遇上一个小贩，当问起他可不可以拍他们的照片结果又被臭骂了一顿。搞得当天都没什么想拍人文写实。只想说，大家都是华人，没有必要那么没礼貌吧？回想起当时读 master的时候做questionaire的时候最难搞的就是华人，极度不配合，非常令人讨厌的高姿态，再不然就是态度差到半条命，难怪在一个自称很多民族融洽的活在“一个”的国家里其他的民族会对华人还是有那么的偏见。（反省下啦，只会对自己人进行打压和欺负的民族！opps……离题）

回想起玩了摄影那么多年，近几年才开始必将用心去学习，也开始接受利用program来修照片，不是很会，还在探索的阶段。两年前第一堂摄影课想学的是人像，只因想把身边的朋友和家人留下最美丽的倩影。然而却发现找model是一件很难的事，也蛮羡慕很多人可以和那么多model合作！这一次活动后才发现，自己没什么进步到。

后来搭ktm回家才是好笑，我们尊贵而且超强的交通部刚发出了文告说ktm的拥挤度由137%降到97%，然而当天等了90分钟却跑了三趟，都是因为太拥挤。试想想一个买了18列4截的火车，之前还大言灿灿说要推出6截式火车的公司竟然还没有投入使用，还是在peak period的周末使用3截式火车。如果他们的文告有准确性的话，那么当天我就不会坐了一趟RM20的taxi回家。当每一趟火车都超载，那可是读乘客带来多大的风险；lady coach or not，依然有男士挤在当中。笔者一直都相信我们的政府有个阴谋论不会改改善我们的公共交通系统，如果公交非常方便我们不就少了引以为“荣”的国产车？malaysia boleh！

就是这几张可以见得人的照片啦。

where our money go in 2011?

2010-10-19T13:28:00.001+08:00

this is a brief comment about our national budget 2011 base on the report on malaysiakini chinese version report.

so, base on the report it is another reflection that many ppl especially those who claim to be our leaders will act or plan their subordinate's future based on illogical thoughts. it's frustrating yet it has becoming a norm to our life as ppl do not do the right thing yet they only do what they think is clever.

5 billion ringgit of concrete. there's a curse called "skyscraper curse", where every renown skyscraper built on earth, it triggers economic crisis regionally or worldwide. look at 1998-klcc-asia finance crisis, 2004-101-minor taiwan economic hiccup, 2008-Shanghai World Financial Center-the midst of world economic slump + food price increase, 2010-dubai tower-finace crisis for dubai, 1970's-world trade centre-petroleum crisis. you call this coincident? maybe, 50 Billion worth of concrete definitely worsen the surrounding traffic and does not have any useful purpose. look at dayak bumi and komtar anyone?

due to the principle of honoring contract, the non-increase-toll-price promise is clearly nonsense, as no increase = paying the "lose" by tax money. the house always win, good...

luxury good, de-taxed! cable tv taxed! good news for the rich, sad case for the poor. yes, not every ppl watch astro but the logic behind this is the rich pays less and non-rich random guy like you and me pays more portion of your wealth to taxes due to increase in service tax. cutting subsidies for staple goods, yet de-taxing luxury goods, wow, attracting tourist to come, yeah right... m-shape society in the making in malaysia.

our budget still overdue 5+ % which mean we still losing money, our national debt is STILL increasing! well, i feel more ouch than yeah, what about you all?

freedom of info what?

2010-10-02T06:07:00.001+08:00

this is my first blog for september. did anyone missed my blog? i doubt not. as i said everytime, no one cares a damn thing abt you unless you are leng lui or some celebrities, when you have some sort of that status what you post will become instant classic. forgot to mention, the only ppl that care what you post are just some government agencies that try to monitor anything, everthing you post so that you can become the hero in "prison break" when you post something that greets them well.

bare in mind that even the US are filtering the internet, and there's NO freedom of speech anywhere now...so can you guys just stop fighting for some utopia that not gonna happens? ok, why US filtering internet when they say they their land is land of FREEDOM? they filtering the internet base on copyright ground. if you are youtube kaki, you'll notice anything related to SONY entertainment will be blocked in certain countries, and you'll hear some weird music that definitely can not sync with the video, as youtube will auto swap the audio when copyright "infringement" happens. some worst case you can not view that video at ALL. according to philip defranco, a bill has been sent to the congress to debate whether the US gov can filter, closed down any copyright-related website. which mean, you either pay-per-download or just buy the god damn cd/dvd/bd, and whatever. maybe philip was right, those MNC douche bag already earn so much, their huge moutain of profit will not become dissapear, the upload on the internet only only make their moutain profit into slightly smaller moutain. when you like the music, you'll buy the original. i do that, a lot of ppl do that. especially when i'm a big fan of non-mainstream music such as pop-classic i rely on the internet source to get what i want, after that i'll try to get the original stuff in my country...what sucks most is that in my country, you very hard to get the good stuff or you cant get anything good in this country. the only way to reach out what you want is really through the internet. and the so called "freedom fighter" are ass-holing us with the "copyright" battle with the internet.

what happens in this month really catches me and some issues really upset me. i think this is the fate of organization. senior member will bully junior member, and you dont expect senior member will help you when you need some. what happens in some organization really makes you wonder why a senior member that does not have any quality in managing a big area, does not have vision, does not have critical views have overwhelming support over the "members"? while the junior member certainly showed quality of leadership, honety, intergrity, vision of the fate of the country can get so little support? is it because he is SENIOR member so that the organization can sacrifice the interest of greater good just to not-upsetting the "old folks" in the organization? it's proven that ppl usually do douche things when comes to deciding the future and their interest certainly greater than the whole country's.

again i have to stress that i admire his courage but not his wisdom. maybe he's a hero among you, or maybe you disagree with what i say but i do think he made a wrong move recently and i pray for his safety from now on..he can emulate the success of "anti-flag" band in US but bare in mind again we are no US, in here some ppl can drive a car purposely hit you and when you go to court you'll get fine for dirtying his car. i care for freedom of speech, but to idolized him i think that's unneccessary. maybe the society crazed for a hero to appear for too long, anyone say some very minor inspirating things will become famed in overnight. maybe deep in our heart we still believe there's superman, batman, spiderman, go-ku... just want to say there's no SUPER hero, and we do not need malaysian version of 911 to tell you that. WAKE UP!

8 月尾的感慨

2010-08-28T05:12:00.000+08:00

还有两天就是16个月来第一次考试，不爽。

也许人真地会随着岁月改善，可以不用以前的眼睛来看现在的很多人，但是却不能担保他们不会带着以前的偏见来审判我。

oops，当初“知难而退”，我也退了，如果回去是不是代表热脸再贴冷屁股？

往往抛出一个问题得到的是更多的问题；我的想法只是要改变一些陋习，改善管理，如是而已。

最近国内发生的事让我了解到你所做的任何一件事都有人为你做记录，你根本不必花钱请秘书。

奉劝各位适可而止，毕竟这是一个有言论自由但言论后不自由的国度，感觉上已有些反弹的效应。

加上人民普遍上都只读过书（读过书不等于受过教育），分析能力不佳，有公理都会变歪理。

当很像你的名字的声音从某个半公共场所传出来，你必须感到害怕，当很像你的身影的东西从某个半公共场所传出来你基本上就完蛋了。

虽然注定和那种生活，那种待遇，那种经历，那种地位，期而不遇，虽然很遗憾，但有时也满怀恋以前那一段有你们的日子。

参加了fac night后有一种很感慨的心情。

也许要开始接受那种众人“对的不做，错的拼命做，做还做错，不做并不等于没有错”的日子。

当不知怎样做加上很多东西做不完等于一天比一天烦。

还跟自己说还有两年，所以要加油。

时事0810，短评

2010-08-24T12:34:00.000+08:00

最近媒体上看见的，听见的，又一大堆阴谋论；没看见马路铺好，没看见学校得到拨款，没有疏通的龙沟，何来“再当老板一次”？

当某个半公共场所传来类似你名字的声音的时候你真的要感到害怕！感觉上有点放蕉皮让人跌倒然后赖你把蕉皮踩烂……

在阴暗的角落吃东西是一件很冒生命、前途危险的事 = 夫妻在自家行房事，然后却被人硬闯进来说他们做了“妨碍社会道德”的事，离谱的是众人说夫妇是错的！

突然察觉，其实哪里都可以跳猴子戏（包括庄严场合），然后他也使用imppossible is nothing的产品，示范本世纪最高难度传说中的动作！

两个人在对话：

“sorry，我们这边不接受闪闪发亮的玻璃。”

“sorry，这是钻石。”

没有新闻自由悲哀，还是有新闻自由以便你可以去做监牢悲惨？

2010-08-16T02:39:00.001+08:00

this was my 2nd convocation, for my master degree. yes, i'm still staying in ukm pursuing something higher and try to finish what i should done before the end of my schooling days. even though this graduation season i'm getting a lot less friends to come and visit me, yet i feel more complete and happy compared to the time 2 years ago.

this article was to express my gratitude to all my friends that i cared and showed up in this convocation season. what can i say about convocation? for some ppl, it's one off, it's only happens once in their life, same as marriage if you are lucky! that's why i try not to missed a session if i ever get invited to someone's convocation, even i cant make it i'll give a small give in advance to my friends. i'll try to state the memories post 2008 convocation as the nostalgia before that has been stated in my previous note: 《departing season/分离的季节》 and 《毕业典礼那一天……》. my special attention will focus on those who are leaving ukm or school part of their life! sadly some juniors once i most cared during my secondary school never showed up even i'm having 2nd chance of wearing graduation robe.

OTUKM

this club i've joined for 5 years and i'm not quitting yet...there's always some special aura emitting from that place after the unhappy 2006/2007 session where i was the president, and since 2008/2009 i've been enjoying the life in OT. of course there were wei jie, wan ting, xiao bai, mei ee, steven, surlyn, ching shuang, jing guan, ah hing, chee yow, li shan, and so on that make up a one hell of a team that making both club and friendship progresses.

especially wei jie as my best friend and best junior i think he's the one who really acompanied me for the past 4 years. i still remember how he come to ot by the introduction of 2 leng lui swee ling and sabrina. in the end only hime stayed at ot! very happy when the time we go sing k even i sing like shit really.. anyway, thanks for being my buddy, i know your study life has virtually ended, so wish you all the best!

xiaobai, i first thought she's just play play (although most of the time are sleep and dont know what she do...), but frankly say you look thinner when i first met you..hahaha... but still surprise for her commitment for last year's ADWR concert where she practice hard for that!!

mei ee, i usually have low expectations for girls from fep to commit themselves for activities frankly because of my past experience, not saying all girls from there are not committed, in fact they are GREAT! this girl indeed impress me because of sheer determination in getting her drum beating right and so on, although there will be some occasional disappearance for a long period. but anyway i'm happy to have a sista like you!

for the trio from ftsm, i really have to say you guys bring a lot of dynamics to ot and my life, ah hing that always do unexpected things, li shan as well, but chee yow that are always so stone cold and mature indeed makes a lot of dynamic things!

jin guan, how to say, i first thought you are very mature guy, speak less and quiet, in the end you are very cheerful as well!! and what surprise me is that you actually joined the ss club... all the best to you!

sam ching, a very talented melancholy prince. my deepest memory with you was the ntlp 13, keep making great songs, because i know someday you'll achieve what you want!

ching shuang, i think i first met you was yum cha with leesan and yee yee? haha, never thought after that you've join ot since then, but still happy that we've become friends. love your seriousness attitude!

surlyn, haha, you are the "candle" right, very sporting girl indeed. very sorry my song have to make you play with pressing all 4 strings of liu qin... and you always accuse me about that too, hahaha..do keep in touch ya!

Wanting, next time when you leave ukm liao only i write a "memoir" for you ya!

OTHERS

Daphne Yap, my dearest sista at fst, still remember the time...i guess is 3 years ago where we and some frineds will go for lunch after friday's class and somehow go buy things at the tesco just 1km away from my house..she's sporting and very cheerful, keep up the good work ya!

ying sin, i will remember you once told me to smile more as i look too serious at times when i'm not smiling..thanks for the advice! and i wonder why you always so afraid of me le?? haha, you have a good voice so dont give up your dream ok? jia you, always support you!

Grace lee, dear sister, i'm glad that you were not as serious as you look, in fact you are funnier than i can imagine...looks can be deceiving really. so how's your flu, ok liao ma? haha, the great "gap band" days, how i wish to re-live that part again..

leesan, first we play flute together, then suddenly you grad liao...very fast indeed. i'll keep looking at tv show's credits and look for you name, all the best!

Angel, is your name really angel? haha, finally met you in person, you look prettier than in picture and happy that you have a stable work oversea too. i left the radioactive/nuclear/medical field already but still pleased that you can continue your path, take care and all the best!

SPECIAL TRIBUTE

i'll be seeing you guys in near future but i still have to say thank you as showing up in my 2nd convo! Pua, i wish you could stay but i'll support whatever your desicion, all the best my man!

wei hong, prof lye, wow, it's been 5 years ei, but we still "stuck" in here...thank you for walking me for such a long period!

qianhui, peiling, thank you for still remembering me, i hope ah qian is ok after that car accident, and pei ling you shouldnt be so melancholy look again ok?please take very good care of yourselves.

surprise that sabrina just show up!!

OT, NT and FS friends! just a sincere thanks to you all for concerning me!

finally a thanks to all my friends who have greet me by text, facebook, phone...etc...sorry chia wei for not meeting you that day!! i feel more complete than the last one, thank you all my friends for making it happened!

an update of my july-august 2010

2010-08-11T18:04:00.000+08:00

i should be very tired, but i have to finish this article before i sleep. yes, it's about the convocation season again (and the timeline with it), and i should be ashamed of myself as this should be happening last year.

entering the 7th month of 2010 there's a twist in my fairly smooth year, first i decided to strike out! instead of waiting for invitations and recommendations that so far never happened i decided to organize the concert i've anticipated for so many years. while it's still in a very crude form but i believe there will be a music band that willing to support my idea! the problem remains recruiting reliable comrades that will give you a helping hand rather than giving you a headache nuisance. i really hope there are music bands (chinese or traditional orchestra) that saw the article and give us a much needed helping hand and i'll surely will keep looking for those who are passionate about the idea! my idea is simple, using chinese/traditional orchestra infuse with western/electronic element to present a musical concert with a theme of giving tribute to anime/movie/video game ost (yes, we'll be playing songs composed by hans zimmer, joe hisaihsi, nobuo uematsu and so on...). yes, i'm inspired by "eminence symphony orchestra" australia (try google it ok?), i believe it's very doable even we are using traditional music instruments and the effects might be even better!

so, what about this july-august? i've learned that publicity on the internet is utter useless unless you are living in some sort of western-cybertise world where or unless you are some celebrity! instead sticking your getting-fatter butt on chair keep promoting your stuff on facebook or blog, you should do something else, as NO ONE care a damn thing for what you post seriously apart from some agency that keep monitoring what you criticise and might sue you for posting that.

july starts my journey to become an academician, it's not what i've planned for my life and it just turn out that way...it's busy again and something happens that distracted my focus on my studies, a family matter that makes me so heart break for nearly a week..and i really dont have any idea how to solve it, and pls dont ask me what happened, i'm telling you all here just to let you know why i'm in such a down mood recently. ok, my mom involve in car accident a few days ago, another distraction. luckily no ones get hurt and it did used up a big sum of savings to deal with it (repair the car la!). i feel very pressurize in studying phd, i can not understand why all these guys keep accusing us phd students for not working! each day we need to read and read and read, and turn all the reading into some systematic presentation or meaningful information. and i'm pressurize to write papers in gear 5...

how i wish i could be brighter...so that i can automatically gets scholarship, all those institute fighting to give you tons of opportunities. yet this never happens to us as us above-average students forever stays in oblivion when it come to scholarships.. i'm certainly looking for one, but how unfortunately there's extensive $$ for engineering/IT/and business studies offered by private institute, other than that like myself a half breed between science and art student (environmental economics,anyone heard about scholarships for it?) will never get one. with the government's financial situation in an you-know-i-know situation i certainly feel my future is bleak. they say education can get you money, i'm certainly not considered as part of it scholarship wise.

the end!

Goh rallies friends to promote Chinese orchestras

2010-08-07T19:24:00.000+08:00

Goh rallies friends to promote Chinese orchestras

let's make a concert! seriously

2010-07-10T03:51:00.000+08:00

after admiring Eminence Symphony Orchestra wikipedia Eminence , eminence symphony orchestra for so many years (2006-now), i started to try to do something similiar here, the difference is that this time it'll be more on Chinese orchestra++.

i always fascinated with orchestrated pop music, such as anime, video game, movie ost or even pop song that has been improvise to orchestra version. i believe this step makes a closer move towards the younger audience so that they will appreciate classical/traditional music and culture. many ppl tend to perceive classical/traditional music as something that belongs to adult, something that are too high and distanced from us. a friend once told me that Singapore Chinese orchestra's music director, maestro tsung yeh, once told them that every orchestra and every music form (whether CO or symphony orchestra), needs to have some "pop" in their repertoire, if not, they'll slowly lose touch of their audience. therefore, we always need some "pop" in order to make CO more popular.

adding pop elements into classical/traditional music does not necessary decreasing the artistic value of CO/symphony. if you search through the internet, love story meets viva la vida was and is still a major hit, the masterful jon schmidt and co. combined both very popular song in 2008 into a wonderful voice from heaven!

joe hisaishi, the guy who help hayao miyazaki masterminded the classicity of ghibli studio's animation series and if you google or youtube his name, you'll be addicted to his masterpiece.

nobuo uematsu, final fantasy (video game) series composer, i dare to say his music inspired ppl to start notice or even appreciate video game music. the song eyes on me was final fantasy viii's theme song and was so phenomenal during the late 1990's and helped faye wong to propel her flying musical career.

noriyuki asakura, he might be very strange guy to you but he have a very high reputation in japanese video game music industry, notable piece were video games like "way of the samurai", "tenchu", and the anime "kenshin".

yoko kanno, a female composer that responsible for dozens of classical anime and japanese movies and drama!

yuki kajiura, another pretty female composer that creates multiple ost(s) for movies, anime, video games in japan.

hans zimmer.....perhaps he is Hollywood's trump card composer, notable music including ost for "pirates of the caribbean", "the lion king", "black hawk down", "the dark knight (batman)", "prince of egypt"......

harry gregson-william a quite low profile composer but his work is amazing and very similiar to hans zimmer's style as they work in a same company. he's quite popular in japan perhaps his role in creating music scores for the phenomenal video game "metal gear" series, and also music composer for "shrek" series...

you guys played the popular-multi award winning casual game for pc and other platforms "plant versus zombie"? laura shigihara, made the musics! plant versus zombie

these guys composed so many good musics but seriously under-appreciated or even omitted by most ppl. time to give these masterful yet given us so many nostalgic memories some proper appreciation. the world is boring and sad enough, so let's give ppl some smile!

i am planning to organize a concert at the end of next year with a theme like this. mainly focus on anime/video game/movie ost/pop music, Chinese orchestra incorporated with western or even electrical music elements. to pay tributes to these wonderful music maker and also get more closer to the younger audience to appreciate traditional/classical music. perhaps this would even popularize new genre of music for chinese orchestra, who knows? whose interested? those who are interested as performers or committees are most welcomed!!! waiting for good news from now!

who am i? i'm just a anime/video game music enthusiast who just arranged love story meets viva la vida and he's a pirate for chinese orchestra.

at last, not sure who arrange this but this song actually fired up me to do similiar approach if i got the chance to do so: one night in beijing

a night in fantasia music concert 2009 by eminence

ghibli studio 25th anniversary music concert by joe hisaishi

a tribute to awesome video game maker and their excellent music composer!

things from world cup 2010 (1st round 2nd match)

2010-06-23T10:15:00.000+08:00

never get a red card, your team will go on to lose even you fought like there's no tomorrow.

anyone can make mistakes but never the goalkeeper.

it proves how bad the french team are right now, the coach, the stars, and they can not execute proper tactic without zidane. no wonder arsenal lost because it's full of french footballer??

it proves this english team are all "kaki-perempuan"or they care more abt booze and girls rather than glory and football. oops, the same goes for italy?

it proves too early to show your form is not a good thing, you might just get over confident and lose the next match (germany).

in the age of 21st century, tactical brainless team are set to be biggest losers in football, africans beware.. a tactically disciplined team can easily outclass any one-man team.

never underestimate teams other than brazil and argentina from south america.

brazil and chile will be very lucky if the win the world cup because the former can not defend and the latter can not score!

asians get the tactics right, have the skills needed, but they still a disadvantage in terms of physical size.

usa set to be the biggest football nation in terms of english speaking region.

once again epl referee is shit if compared to the standard of this world cup's refereeing standards...

he did everything right, but everything goes wrong...

this team is gutless and headless...

worst ever french coach, and he still not sacked yet..

things i've learn from this world cup (1st round 1st match so far...)

2010-06-21T01:46:00.001+08:00

WC is getting like epl, you only can score from counter attack and set piece with very sturdy defense and a battling midfield. if AW still can not create a formitable defense next season, he should not sign a new contract with arsenal.

it will be suprise if raymond domenech make france win a match. it's really 9th wonder of the world for such incompetence guy to manage a great footballing nation for so long...

it's still a long way to go for messi to become greatest footballer. the press is a douchebag for worshiping him after he scores a hattrick against arsenal.

after all the years, the east asian army rises...

like it or not americans and north korean share the same thing, they show us not winning is actually greater than win!

africa set to be weakest region in terms of football level.

germany play like brazil more than brazil play like brazil.

teams who play attacking/possesion football (holland) will struggle to score unless the opposition (denmark) give you a goal.

i can not understand why ppl condeming brazil for winning a match....

only brazil and germany play like a team even they from different clubs...other football giants are just formed by multiple "selfish-over rated-over paid-team workless" monkeys...

it proves epl referees are bunch of shit, by looking at this tournament's refereeing records...

螃蟹游上岛

2010-04-23T13:30:00.002+08:00

老爸来自渔村，苯珍柔佛的渔村，基本上每一年我们都会游走渔村几次。

错过了v-snap几次的活动后毅然参与了这一次的螃蟹岛拍游记。ketam岛也有一个黑暗的事实（wikipedia上找到的），距离它附近的一个小岛是流浪狗的“集中营”，往往被遗弃在这个小岛上的狗狗们通常都是自生自灭的消失在无形中。

当笔者没什么目标的时候反而拍不出什么东西来（也许是笔者太过于理性了吧！），基本上当天都是走走看看然后才拍拍。

蝴蝶飞上花枝头

笑笑

遗憾当天并没有租脚车来踏

好吃；想吃；给你吃

小岛渔村就是充满像是可以穿梭时空的小道

很像way of the samurai 2中的otsuka cho……

蝴蝶

3月·时事·本地

2010-04-05T02:54:00.000+08:00

总结一下近期的本地政治时事。

so，恶心剧结束了吗？笔者第一个印象就是好官难当。揭发腐败案件的人结果反而被审判，这就是政治不变的笑话。中国也发生了两则类似的案件，揭发汶川地震豆腐渣工程的人已经被判入狱，为毒奶事件受害者伸冤的人也被控上了法庭；原因？“制造社会混乱”！我们姑且不要说共产和资本主义的不同，基本上正义的事情在哪里都没人会做。当你正义的矛头对上一些权贵，中招的都是你，这是一个教训。

我们的政府和以色列没有邦交，但是！如果你去看马来文版的wikipedia，我们的一些人和他们的一些人好像有一些虚实喔！犹太人……公认的商业奇才（一些人啦，不是每一个……每个民族必然有废材、奇才、庸才、天才），在一个已经浓缩到小到不能再小世界，随时走出街上撞倒的很有可能会是爱斯基摩人，陪你吃饭的也有可能使萨莫阿人，更何况你是做生意的！当你想像柯南一样破茧拔丝像电影情节那么查询下去，那一间公司有一个以色列人，怎么办？？

举又不举。那天看了报章上一个文章描述得太好了。他大概这么写：你的祖先为了躲避战火，抛开了几百年的家园，划着三板远到一个气候和家乡完全不一样的地方勤奋工作，为国家打了两战，唱国歌时立正，投票时出来投“稳定”，孩子没有奖学金，分分钟你一年给国家的税还比他们几代人的总和还要多；你却是被那一个组织称为他们的“生活终结者”，你是强盗，你来抢了我们的东西，还！还！还！这让笔者想起之前在美国发生的一件事，因为政府加税，有一个人架飞机撞向政府部门，原因？因为加税让他“活”不下去。买得起飞机去撞政府建筑物的人，怎样会“活”不下去？

一个国家。笔者又想起前南斯拉夫的写照：一个国家，两个体制，五个民族，六个国家。我们的国家原则，信神尊王敬宪才守法而宾礼，王室排在宪法前面……有句话说“what you do makes you。”基本上执行比任何一项“亲民”发表会来得更重要，因为政客的承诺比elementary particle来得更轻。什么一个这个一个那个，什么新模式，容你plan到天衣无缝，你不执行还不是零？更好笑的事，一个执行了40年的政策，效果不但不好，还更加拓宽了贫富距离，那些人还是吵着要保护这个政策，那些穷的还是硬要把选票投给他们。

你先我后，国家资源是属于全民的，却要分你你我我。谁优先谁落后其实不是重点，因为全球的竞争到达一个水平以后那一点点的优先非但没有帮助，往往还会成为绊脚石。如果我们还是停留在谁先谁后的争论而不根本的改革现有的人才栽培的话，我们的未来领导将不会是人，而是robot。放心，他们会为几十块的“贪污”案歇斯底里的不食不眠不大便，学者们的苦口婆心基本上是被当垃圾。

小结，结束。

a tribute to you...

2010-04-02T13:51:00.000+08:00

i have no special talent, but this note is for you all. for those who are graduating soon..

3/4 years, not a very long time if compared to the near static universe, yet it's fate that in the very crowded concrete jungle we had met, and that's oredi a special period for all of us. everyone is saying that life is wonderful, what you do determine who you are, but i say life is not about who cross the line first but how you cross the line in your own style.

ot is a special platform that holds us together, it's like a wok that fills with a lot of ingredients, sometimes it's hot, and sometimes it's cold. no matter what ingredient are you, how we cook the dishes, the only thing that matters is that we were inside the wok together. we share the passion, the friendship, a bond that i guess we wouldn't forget so easily.

after a few weeks, some of you might choose a very different path, those path might determine what you are in your life, some of you even might lived the last part of student life in their lives. through ot, i'm glad that we've met, blended, blessed with a friendship that i truly appreciated. i have nth to give you all, just a sincere thank you from the deepest of my heart.

good luck and all the best, thank you for being a candle that light up part of my life.

almost all old mates

2010 so far...

2010-03-18T19:04:00.000+08:00

进入了2010年，过了1/4，笔者作了很多东西，也好像什么都没有做到。

suppose今年笔者要一洗去年是非缠身的一些东西，其实去年并没有什么太大的困难，一切都好像满一眨眼就过去了。该感谢的已感谢了，该反省的也已经反省了。在接触了一些“基本上不是很认识的人”后，更加清楚本身的道路应该如何如何地走了。很想今年2010大展拳脚，来一个刮目相看，基本上如果志气和实力是成正比的话，那应该还不是问题，烦扰笔者的其实是定位的问题，究竟笔者准备好了吗？

2010年的1/4里笔者作了什么事？

基本上等新年，拿红包。

柳暗花明下得到了另一个教授的金援得以continue深造（向phd的道路前进！），但是想到要沿家跟户的做500+questionnaire笔者就冒冷汗……去年那场500+的噩梦震得很难受，尤其是华人的住家基本上不会让你做一个小小的问卷……奉劝一句，当有人叫你做questionnaire你就做啦，不要耍大牌好吗？

和project的朋友们开过一次会，谁说马来人是懒惰的呢？开了会过后才发现到脑袋是时候要转转了，他们提出了很多很哲学的意见，大开眼界。phd的form虽然还没有填妥，因为proposal方面还没有一个很明确的想法,不过，快了……

很多人以为笔者会从商（起码大学的朋友们这样认为，老朋友们则觉得笔者either从政或是律师……），发觉自己很喜欢做研究，虽然有时会懒了一点看journal，不过总好过那些只有利益而言的office工吧！

非工作而言，笔者倒是想赚点外快。最好是和兴趣related的会更好。以前一些机会被一些人放了无数次的飞机后，基本上已经对他们hopeless了，看来要开拓新的路线。讲师？有年龄歧视；音乐？还需要磨练；摄影师？需要很多$$来投资……

笔者在ot呆了5年……不知怎么说呢，总之就是有血有泪吧！还是喜欢当个有参与的senior，笔者不想像以往印象中的学长：很久不见，回来，做一点点东西，然后点学弟妹们这个不对那个不行，很奇怪的学弟妹们还会拍手叫好！笔者喜欢出钱出力，go through the end with them！也许有人会不喜欢这样的学长，但这就是笔者的style，不求别人感谢，只要他们认同这一份革命感情。

年头ntlp比想象中还付出更多的精神，接下来除了ot的concert以外，接下来笔者觉得自己只会接多一个活动，虽然现在很表面很基本的两方通知了笔者。希望可以压对宝，因为笔者很想参与一个会开心也会感动的活动。很犯贱的是ot的学弟妹们从来没有希望笔者做什么，基本上很多东西笔者都是最后一个人知道，但是笔者还是毛遂自荐参与他们的筹备活动，都不知是好事还是坏事。学校的乐团也是一样，有时还是会犯贱的关心及问候他们如何如何，虽然他们也没什么通知笔者什么的。

2010的年头，有很多的想法，也有很多的很想做的事。下半年开学后也许commitment将渐渐转移到读书去，但是无阻心中的计划。笔者是人才吗？身边的人一定会说是，都不知是要害笔者还是帮笔者。然而笔者觉得人人往往感谢笔者并不是功劳，而是苦劳。近年来都没有完成什么自己想回都会感动的事，当然，女朋友的是例外。接下来的2010，希望来的都是好事，经历了磨练，i'm ready！

5 years...

2010-03-14T05:49:00.001+08:00

5 years in ukm and involved in 5 ntlp(s), i guess i should call it a day.

new tune is a special society to me, while i'm not their active member, by coincidence or fate, i end up participating 5 of their ntlp not as audience. which means i'm served as performers/backstage workers/arranger. i always have special feelings to nt, as i think this club is a special one. while there's occasional mistakes commonly made by undergraduates, i would say they are a bunch of ppl that are very committed to what they do. sometimes they do over committed i guess, such as practice until 4am in the morning... i dont mind that if i'm doing something i'm passionate at, certainly most ppl wont do that, some ppl even oredi went hometown long before weekends... but watching these tireless ppl doing things, including practices makes me happy, because i've met too few young fellas that are passionate to what they do.

i first encounter nt during my secondary school during 2001. a time where using dectar to host a series of activities are virtually unavailable for chinese based society. they came to my school and having ntlp 4. as a "lightningist" in my school, so i just work at backstage doing some light effect. i still remember that was a time where boy bands are leading the music industry and nt even have a few songs that were sang by boy bands. ok i still remember that time there was black out in my school until the show starts..

so, it was fate that i entered ukm, well i started to pick up classical or traditional music. i heard a lot of things, and i'm quite wary abt nt by that time as nt had a mixed reputation. some say they have attitude problems, some say they are very aggressive, some even say their members usually have bad results... well, all my doubts were gone until i've invited to perform in ntlp 9, for 2 songs that have dizi (chinese flute)...i found out that they actually more friendlier than i thought, they are very helpful and quite respect our thought and ideas. i had a great show and i'm enjoying working with them but there's one issue, that's abt the attendance during practice...i guess that's the only minor runt i have during that time. that's also the first time ntlp was performed at dectar (2006), congrats..

ntlp 9 2006

2007 was a memorable year, as myself also busy organising chinese orchestra concert. there was a slight rivalry between ot and nt as both clubs are organising concert at a date that are very close to each other, (ntlp 10 was just a week after ot's concert) i guess is around end of january and early february. instead of some society might attack eachother just to sell a few more tickets, yet i saw both clubs supporting each other's concert. i'm very apreciate it as i'm chair person of ot by that time. so after ot's concert (ok, ot = orkestra tradisional artisukma ukm), i was sick, and then invited to ntlp 10, only have one week to practice, and the song is 9 minutes long (thanks to andrew!), and i play 3 instrument (2 dizi and 1 xiao (chinese vertical flute)!)!! well it turn out unexpectedly fun, that song actually inspired my to start arrange music...well until today still no much improvements..haha.

ntlp 10 2007

ok in 2008, i thought that would be the last time i perform at dectar. this was also the year i started to learn conducting orchestra seriously. ntlp 11, i played 2 song, as usual i'll play dizi for a song arranged by andrew and then i play western flute for another song for the very cute ying xin. wow, i learn alot of things that time, know a lot of nt secrets as well! and at first i thought xiao yu and grace were very serious person...it turn out...you know i know lo... i'm quite sad after the concert as many of my good friends are going to graduate, and it's hard to meet them again, even harder to play music together again.

ntlp 11 2008

i missed last year's ntlp due to extremely busy schedule, i did promise that i can play for 1 song, but it turn out too rush and they do not want to take the risk so my part was canceled. i have no grudge really. and by the time ntlp 12 underwent, ngam ngam kena my mid sem exam so couldn't even attend it..

so what abt this year? first honored as they ask me to arrange a song... frankly i hate and love arrange music or songs. why because it takes a lot of my time. i need to key in every single notes into program, make it into midi, listen and listen again before i can distribute music scores to musicians. and then i can only hope they rajin practice, and i'll come supervise or conduct...this is what i did for orchestra stuff... while for pop song style...sorry to tell i guess i didnt did a good job in arranging this song. sorry guys, i guess i failed to live up my reputation. again i have to stress out that i'm very appreciate what those juniors did for me, like khai yee and chong zi they tirelessly remind me have practice this time that time, edmond helping me arrange this song, arif for no complains abt the practice time at all, jie ru for being our gold medal technical, and of course my lovely ot brata and sista for their effort to participate in their very tight schedule!

ntlp 13 2010

after 5 years of "affairs" with nt, i guess i really should call it a day... for the next ntlp, i hope i can have a smaller role, maybe just to supervise practice, or just merely an audience that will give the biggest applaud when you guys rocks! sincerely thanks nt for giving me so such respect and support, given me a stage to perform, and inspired me to do great things in the future. i've never have so much respect in any other society i've participate, the room, flexibility and cooperation given to me are phenomenal, unlike some of my experience of being boikot here and there.... you guys really opened up my eyes abt team work and passion. so, i do hope we'll cross path again, maybe by the time the ppl changed, they atmosphere changed, the mind changed, maybe weather might change as well! no matter how the climate changes, nt will always a special part in my heart. thanks for everything!

p.s: i might forget some ppl to tag in this note...help me ok?

烦……

2010-02-23T13:39:00.001+08:00

好久没有在睡不着的夜晚里写blog了。

经常对自己说要做个好男人，毕竟好男人不是一件容易的事。要在细心、能力、风度、幽默等等中找一个平衡点，又有多少人能够谈笑自如呢？

别人常说少一点计较，多一点宽容，实际上也是自己可以宽待别人，但是别人未必会宽待你。你可以阿Q一点说你是品德好啦，对人宽容。到头来当你觉得自己原谅别人似乎比较容易然后别人却经常和你计较的时候，你会觉得很烦。

也许长大了，什么事都没有很明显的对错，但是越大越经常遇到一些答不了的问题。选择不答，往自己内心压郁；宁可伤害自己，却背上不诚实的罪名。只想自己负担，却伤害了大家的心。问问题也有学问，其实打破沙锅问到底很多人只了解一半的道理，问对的问题往往很多人忽略了……什么是答案？希望人人在听了别人的回答后还能自我领悟一下，不要拼命问有的没的问题。公事上还能以官方说法敷衍，然而当情侣对话时怎样答都错！

活在一个很压郁的时空里，做每一件事，讲每一句话，都是为了别人着想，惜言。当每一句对白都是经过加工的，每一个人口中的作文都是考试拿A的作品……

当你想做的事情得到的鼓励远远少于指责，久而久之必然会是心意阑珊，接下来人也会变懒惰。

别人常说两个人在一起久了就开始挑剔对方的缺点；既然黑人也能跑了10年，为什么有的人还要怀疑自己？世界也许还荒唐过铁箱里的戏，然而生活上其实充满着平平无奇普通不过的事物。与其每一天活在疑神疑鬼的世界，倒不如花多一点时间睡个好觉？

每一天，活在烦郁的日子。不想提起，也不想起。

what abt e-voting?

2010-01-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

e-voting is not driven by creating a more "fairer" voting system but rather due to laziness of those ppl...just a few clicks and comes the statistic...with such convenience why should i tirelessly calculate the the "vote paper"?

buy computers cost $$ and anything that cost $$ is a chance for you know i know la...

i thought e-voting is for celebrities or contest only? you ask your friends to sign up, fill in your details...vote. opps, you are naked to them, you are part of their survey for marketing strategies...

e-voting is never the death of democracy but rather dead of hardworking in human. because you still can choose to vote or not to vote.

why vote when nth will improve? the food's price still no decreasing, hollow promises, street lights still malfunction or lack of it. never have enough parkings, office still work like tortoise...dont tell me it's our responsibility pls.

e-voting or not, i'm concern, certainly not because what abt democracy, but how lazy we are. some say civilization driven by our laziness (technologies), i think that's true...

(all the event describe in this blog are all merely fiction.there are no people, event duplicated here. if in any chance the event described here do happens in the reality, that is purely coincident. the author of this blog DOES NOT hold any responsibility for that particular incident. please don’t misinterpret the content as the author DOES NOT defame anyone.)

my 2009

2010-01-21T12:00:00.003+08:00

seldom update about myself recently, i dont think anyone would interested to my life really.

probably too late for it but i'll have a go, the up and downs of 2009 for myself.

in january i started my 2nd half of my master studies, it's hectic, yes, as i'm taking coursework master degree where everything is packed, tons of homeworks, presentations and fieldworks! suddenly realise i'm more comfortable in art type of academics rather than scientific as i really dont understand why we still have to learn almost everything that is proved useless or outdated during my undergraduate years. at least i found something i'm able to do, and do well! in this month i also went Malacca a-famosa with my girlfren..this is a eventful month as my gf's sister wedding at first week of it, and i get nominated fo malam anugerah artisukma, well, they certainly wronged me as first year undergraduate student. well i DID NOT win a single award, in 2010 i even not get any nominations as well.

still busy yet this is a memorable fabruary as i celebrate valentine day with my coursemates at danga bay...during field work of course. it's fun really. this month i also stared to prepare for up coming ot concert, actually preparations started a few months ago and the practices get more frequent and hectic as the concert close by. this is the first time i conduct so many songs in a concert, and i even started to arrange songs after i talked so many times in the past. the problems is that i feel many performers do look down on me, yes i'm rookie conductor and rookie composer, so? i found this world is too unforgiving, well that's life really so i have to get use to it. what song i wrote? viva la vida and cities of southern europe for ensemble, baby elephant for wind instruments.

so march is here and the concert is drawing nearer. i made a fatel mistake, i put the concert prior to my thesis as that time i'm full of confident i can make it before may. it's turn out disastrous, will continue later... during the full rehersal some ppl really gave me a hard time, they just dont gave me enough time to drill my songs, maybe they intend to let me "lau kui"? i do not know. luckily luck is on my side and the concert is completed. i dont have special feelings, just like 2 years ago the chaotic "chaos" concert where so many controversial and apologies owed to me. but i'm glad that the supports given by my parents and friends, really appreciated! so this month also quite busy as the deadline of some homework is within this months, we also conducted several interviews to some corporate, factories and even ADUNs, and we also wrote that into reports.

so april is the exam month, as typical end of sem festives where everyone loses sleeps just for finishing homeworks, wear smarts just for presentations....go to library and hopes for a little inspirations for exams... so i just found out that thesis can be delayed until end of june! i've just made a decision that defined my 2009, i decided to put another concert dated in late june prior to my thesis again. well a lot ppl suggest me to think twice but what's decided is decided and i've put a lot more efforts to that concert. mean while i felt confident in exams, yet the preparations of concert does not undergo very well. there's an ot b2b outings during last lecture days of the sem, it proves just too fun for me, glad i'm just left ot for very very short while during early 2007 and decided to go back mid 2007. ot changed a lot really, it became the only thing that i might call home in ukm.

so abt may and june, first my birthday, i never celebrated any birthday with my uni frens as usually my bday was the last day of exam periods and most of them are going home. 2006 came close with ot camp at 6th of may, yet no surprise for me even though they know i've just pass my bday. as a usual bday only just 2-3 friends came during this years' bday. but i celebrated with my gf by going sungkai hot spring..at night it was disastrous knock out of arsenal by MU in CL, so not quite happy really.

abt the concert, personally i think i gain and lost in this concert. i lost a lot of support and trust in some ppl, maybe it's something to do with my way, i'm too rigid and i'm sometimes very emotional if everyone is so slow in doing things. yet i gain valuable experience and some support that i never even think of. just a typical "some ppl loves it some ppl loath it" situation but this time is so contrast and significant. i felt i'm cast out of some society, well that just might just my feeling but sometimes i dont really care wht ppl think of me as i did my part, i did what i promised to some extend, that's it. in the end i realise we do have to live our life our way, that's it (again). it makes me sad for a while after what happened after the concert but i do feel it's time to move on. i'm really glad to the helps given by those ppl i never met before, all those old folks that tirelessly helped us during dying moments. i like those NEC friends made, they are really cute even though some times they do things quite slow. but generally they are really valuable allies that are very helpful... shame that i'm not in any control anymore as i would love to cooperate with you guys again. abt the +ves, i improved in both arrangement and conducting skills and i even arranged the hottest video on youtube during that time into ensemble --"love story meets viva la vida"!! i arranged "he's a pirate" for tht concert as well. although i still looked down by a lot performers, but i swear someday i'll improve and becomes a better musician, thank you everyone!

nth much to say in july as i failed to board the 2009 convo tickets, destined my second half of 2009 will be a torturing one. i started to climb broga hill occasionally during this month as well..

august is a sick season, i often sick in this month every year. watching your frens graduated...hmm...the feeling is i dont know how to describe, but i'm very happy to see the happy face of my frens, and i'm also very glad to capture the happiness moments for them as well. i join fac night for 5th time... finally i started to learn composing! first of all i have to learn about harmonic, some ppl call it chords... wow, i learned a lot yet the process is very challenging as i have no western music basics at all!! oh dear god helps me!!

actually i finished my final draf of thesis before 911, but it's the waiting process that drives me crazy!!! it drags...until end of october where i can finally waits for viva. i found some amusing stuffs as well, there is a concert where they play western pop songs in CO yet they gets a lots of credit, well, what i did was almost the same yet i've been condemned by some ppl that i'm "de-chinesing" chinese culture.... maybe it's just because of me, "what goh hong lip do, no good no good" in their minds, never changes, or maybe i "yong soi"? i went bicycle ride with my gf during mooncake festival, it's fun really!

i'm emotional in november, the efficiency of the office drives me crazy, so much torturing waits and contacts, i finally can have my viva at the end of november (wow, finished at 911, viva at 2711...), i'm finally free of the "master-postpone-sindrome", it's depressing and emotional. it also sparks the busyness of me from mid november until mid december. i attended a series of activities which makes me very very tired. segi UC's music concert, my sister's engagement, a charity fair, volunteer for world class musicians, made it to ot camp that full of surprise! i made a lot of cute frens from segi as well, they are frenly and very cheerful, their thoughts are certainly different with the thoughts of students from local u. i'm not saying whose good or bad i just feel quite fresh with their thoughts that it, dont get the wrong idea. during the camp i'm enlightened, i finally realise sometimes in a society we not necessary need to achieve goals, the most important is that we need to improve our togetherness, that's the team spirit we talking about.. i also realise my way of dealing and organising things is too rigid and too "insuranced", maybe i should start dont be so serious any more, have fun, dont plan too well. i guess i should really change, right? i tried to write harry porter them for CO during camp, yet i guess is the style and mechanical design of most Chinese orchestral music instrument do not allow too many sharps and flats so i have to cance it, if not i guess it would be 1 hell of excitement. well if any band, preferred CO band wish to play that song i would love to complete it for you. i also went to kuantan, cherating and tasik bera (2 hours ride from kuantan...) during christmas, 1 hell of ride as it's so far....

watched "avatar" in 3d, it's mind blowing but for me the best film for 2009 was "district 9", that movie makes me feel down for weeks..maybe i should start writing movie reviews as those movie critics on newspapers are so sucks...

so that's my 2009, 1st half, full of promises, 2nd half full of set backs... fortunately i still survived, well that's most import right? survival is victory. well that's a slogan for loser like me really! finally i also realise young CO composer like me will not get any respect from other ppl, i'll just have to keep on hardwork and hopefully regain any pride.... well, why so cared abt why ppl thinking, as long as you do wht you like, you enjoyed, that's enough, other than that, it's bonus! this is our life and we should dictate our life, not by other's biased perceptions. this is what i learned from 2009! anticipating 2010 yet i'm sick for 1st 3 weeks of 2010...biggest wish? i hope i can turn my talent into $$...

口手09

2009-12-17T06:48:00.001+08:00

2009上下半段，很极端。

之前的误会，有一些已经哩清了。

没有必要那么神秘吧！

为什么要庆祝圣诞节呢？为什么假期就是要去旅行呢？

有的时候，也许什么目标都不要，不必有什么突破，只要人人都开心会更好吧！

2009年12月有点冷……

这一个假期用了一半做自己想做的事，另一半则是休息；基本上都是在做自己想做的事吧！

有时身边的人唠唠叨叨是好事还是坏事？如何counter唠叨？唠叨总是会变成火爆，很不喜欢。

有时候不想因为见了这人而那人不开心，所以经常都是一个人。

卖东西的他们问题在于，讲多过听。

不喜欢资本主义，但并不代表支持共产！

所做的东西好像有点热脸贴上冷屁股。

很少笑吗？

才华和贡献还是没有被校方肯定，都5年了耶！

信任的人，转眼便成是非精。

只要是有益的东西，哪怕他们自相矛盾得离谱，就算没有参与都会献上默默的祝福，这就是与他们不同的地方。

就要和高手过招了，好刺激！

是候补，还是布鞋将？两个都不喜欢。

候补还是布鞋将，总有一天等到你！

不会再有这样一个假期了，很伤心。

不是不努力，而是别人不会懂得珍惜。

人生因期待而前进。

但是未来不是迷漫，就是坎坷。

不知要哭还是要笑，走完这一个假期。

栋笃笑境子1

2009-11-04T04:35:00.000+08:00

近来上youtube看了黄子华的栋笃笑，除了好笑还有更多的思考。

2003《冇炭烧》的故事里有很多和我们现在的生活很相似，笔者感觉上原来我们的国家，我们的社会慢了香港5-10年，很多情景恰是我们现在的写照。

其中：
《寻找扑街的故事》说到我们现每一天都在寻找扑街的故事；当然，我们每一天都在讨论丑闻、很白痴的党争、很气愤地腐败，越是疯狂的丑闻，越能卖，越多人看！似乎别人越堕落，我们就越开心！最经典的还是那个吃鱼丸的故事：

话说有天你买了一串鱼丸，看到别人那一串鱼丸多你两粒。
“做么他多我两粒鱼丸？我不要你给回我两粒，我要你拿走他的那两粒！”
过了一会……
“做么他有甜酱？我不要你给我甜酱，我要你舔干净他的甜酱！”
又过了一会……
“做么他吃到酱开心？（你想怎样？）不行，我要他跟我一起吃到很不开心，一起吃到那么扑街……”
天啊……这是什么病态想法？我们普遍不是希望自己过得比别人好，而是希望别人过得比自己坏！

《结构性失业》
经典对白1：“所以说，你们一定要读多点书，因为你读多点书才会明白为什么你会失业！”如果大学生那么容易失业倒不如不需要那么多大学生不是更好吗？反正人人毕业后都是改行的啦……
经典对白2：“打工仔最大的愿望是什么？什么都不必做，呐，现在不就是梦想成真？！”有时梦想成真却是一场噩梦……
那些学生，不，应该说是卡奴，从“无产”变“负资产”，我们也借了ptptn，是否也从“无产”变“负资产”？？当遇上“结构性失业”，你要“结构性改变”，隆胸和切不是说鼓励人们这样做，而是后人人要提起勇气作出改变，以非常的方法来突围。

《法治精神》
从谢霆锋车祸事件道出我们有法治精神么？发生事情后我们总是逃避上法庭，总是想有没有更加“捷径”的办法！交通罚单，偷工减料，承包合约，前有查宫，后有基宫，明福惨案，对对对胡闹剧，我们的司法解决得了吗？当然我们可以argue我们那非常没有效率的司法部，腐败警队，基本上何谓遵从法制从未在我们的心中又过一席地位。成龙真的讲得没有错，个人自由的普及化并不能取代个人的行为责任，中国闹出了“黑心咳药”和“黑心奶粉”后还不知或出现什么冬冬，我们现代科技建造的stadium，都比不上人工建造的金字塔耐用，哪怕以后还会有什么豆腐渣工程出现……

《生命有take 2》
对，生命不能重来，但是生活可以，所以，不要轻言自杀！至于孩子是前世的仇人投胎的吗？不然为什么当你叫他们不要一直看电视，不要一直玩，他们总是说：“我恨你”？！？还有讽刺现代人文化水平低落，连遗书都可以写错字……有两种人有资格自杀，东条英机这类魔头，每天中国人见面的时候都会问他死了没有，千夫所指，不疾而死。或者那些死了过后有公共假期的……

2007《越大鑊越快樂》，有人说这一场失去了以前那种辛辣的讽刺高官，笔者不以为然，其中有一些故事更是贴近我们的生活。

其中：
《是啦定律》
我们不必问为什么，这个世界就是以一种莫名其妙的方式进行着。为什么会有贫穷？为什么你那么帅却脱头发？为什么一班傻子为了做阿头斗来斗去？为什么华人要在鸦片战争中失利？为什么为什么？其实最佳的答案就是“是酱的啦……”还可以加多一句“很奇怪吗？”基本上没有人会正视这些问题，或者说当小孩子问了你答不到的问题，这就是最好的答案！当你解释不到一些问题的时候，“是酱的啦……”和“很奇怪吗？”已经是最好的答案了。基本上遇见不平的事，我们都不会挺身，遇见别人不幸的事情，我们不会同情，更不会理会！当国家的制度已经“结构性腐败”，白痴的选民依然是“谁给我钱就投谁”的心态，没有法制意识，没有社会责任，因为世界就“是酱的啦……”和“很奇怪吗”，谁去尝试了解，谁去尝试改变，反而是有问题的人！好听的就是我们在这个ecosystem里的involvement要减到最低，究竟是社会病态，自然法则，还是明哲保身，自己知道吧！

《第8奇迹》
中提到，巴菲特的利息搭利息就是第8奇迹。然而，我们人人都接受的10几年教育一点都没有提到，反而是上一大堆垃圾，什么cos sin tan，vector这里又那里，上了社会一点都不会用到！统计学那么好用却只教鸡水那么多，最好用的regression、t-test又没有教……理财也没有教，然后整天讲大学生没有头脑…… （续）

new

2009-11-03T14:10:00.001+08:00

this is my new blog, well, took me long enough to do that, last blog has been deleted too. after long long search on internet this layout i like most not because it's pretty, but it's because it's stable and without any major bugs...still on learning curve on html tags and scripts, so my blog will be quite simple until i found out how to tweak it!

posts will be simultaneously post on facebook notes as well as here. well, the friendster blog http://gohcool.blog.friendster.com/ will only be updated occasionally. i know my blogs are quite wordy because i need to get some reference before i post and that's why i seldom blog recently (damn scientific thinking). my post will be in chinese or english. so that's it, more pictures? ok, i'll try to do that..so take a visit to my blog occasionally, ok?